Pretty average day

    So today I had lunch with a guy I will call G. I have lunch with G every Monday, after our gym class. He’s the sweetest guy ever and he always talks about what he did that weekend with his girlfriend. She lives an hour away and he only gets to see her once or twice a week, so he’s always really excited about seeing her. It’s so cute

    I also ended up having lunch with a friend I recently made in English class, who I will refer to as Shy Guy. This nickname is based on my first impression of him. I’m actually not sure if he’s shy or not, but whatever he is, it’s definitely cute. He can’t make eye contact with me for a very long time, and always shifts his eyes around the room once before he looks me in the eyes again. He blushes when he talks too much, and he looks so nervous. It makes me wonder if he’s either gay or just doesn’t have that many girl friends. He doesn’t talk that much, and when he does talk, he tends to just ask me questions so I’m the one who ends up talking. When I ask him questions he gives short answers and then asks another question about me. At first I thought he was very shy, but I now think he might just be a quiet sort of guy. I even questioned him about his quietness and he said “Well all guys are quiet.”

    Sorry hun, hate to inform you but all guys are definitely not quiet. All the guys I know talk a normal amount (or more in some cases) but it’s rare to find a genuinely quiet person. I actually think he’s the most adorable thing ever (but don’t worry, I’m not about to get a crush on him). I want him to become my new best straight guy friend, because I already have best girlfriends and a gay best friend.

    Honestly, I don’t have anything to rant about today. Nothing particularly pissed me off or made me unhappy (yay!). Sorry about the lack of writing. I’m actually a bit sick so maybe I’ll have something to write tomorrow when I’m over whatever I have now. But for now…

    Peace

Boys, Toys and various Joys

    So tonight I found out that Apple knows I’m crushing on him. I don’t know what to make of that at all. Apparently Apple, Vodka and one of their other friends (I’ll call him Roman) speculated about how obvious it was that I like him. I wonder… does that mean he doesn’t like me back? I know that whenever I try to establish physical contact, or get a little too close to him, he pulls away. I don’t know if that means he’s shy or if he’s just not into me. But at the same time, he walked me home last weekend and even arranged with me a gathering between C and Vodka and him and I, just so we could all get drunk together. On the flip side, he decided not to walk me home this weekend. Does that mean he realized I liked him last weekend when he walked me home and knows he doesn’t like me so he’s trying not to give me the wrong impression?

    It’s so confusing because last night I noticed something. It’s something that I normally do, but he did it this time. Usually I try to surreptitiously place us so I’m the only one beside him (like on his other side are people we don’t know), so that way I can easily have him all to myself. But this time, he placed himself in that position all by himself.

    What I’m really trying to say is that I’m getting so many mixed signals. But maybe I’m just looking for signals, and he’s not even giving me any. I don’t know.

    I had a long conversation with Roman, who introduced me and C to Apple and Vodka. Roman was pretty drunk, but I got a lot out of him. So apparently Roman, Vodka and Apple (and maybe other people, I don’t know). They had a conversation where it was implied that I like Apple. Roman told me to take things slow, and that Apple is very reserved (what I think he meant was that he was very shy) and I should just continue having long talks with him before I let him know about my feelings.

    So perhaps I’ll wait. Now that I know that he knows that I like him, I want to see where it leads me. I want to see if he tries to make any moves or at the very least, if he’s more receptive to my moves. I really hope he is. And if I get the feeling he isn’t being receptive at all, then I’ll just tell him I like him and get the rejection over with quickly, so I don’t have to deal with this long, drawn out process more than necessary. I love him. But I couldn’t stand having to be around him while not really knowing if he likes me back.

    Now enough about boys. I think I may have just had a fight with C. So C and Vodka were kind of making out all night. Whatever, I don’t mind that, they’re a couple and that’s kind of what couples do. But since there were seven of us, we decided to call a taxi van, which would fit all of us. But complications arose and so we ended up having to split up. Later on, she comes on msn and basically asks me why we all left her and Vodka behind. I told her it was because we ended up having to split up due to the complications, and we kind of had to make a split second decision while already in the cab. She asked me why she didn’t know this was all happening. So I told her the truth (bad idea, seeing as she has the temper of a dragon who is constantly PMSing); I said that she wasn’t really there during the decision making (i.e. she was sucking face with her boyfriend the whole time and didn’t know what we were doing).

    So she signed off immediately (probably blocked me) and now I don’t know what’s happening. The thing is, I can’t afford to get into a fight with her, because her and Vodka are the only link to Apple right now. Apple and Vodka are best friends. Vodka and C are going out. I’m best friends with C. So we can kind of do that double date thing. Since Vodka and C are going out, and I’m friends with C and Apple’s friends with Vodka, that just leaves Apple and I alone to talk while we give N and H their couple time.

    Ughhh I’m such an idiot. Sometimes I just say exactly what comes to my mind without even thinking about what I’m saying, and it has gotten me into trouble so many times. I need to kiss her ass ASAP so that I can get back to macking on Apple (haha such a bad pun).

    Oh and by the way, I didn’t confess to Apple (did I already say that?), and he didn’t end up coming tonight as I’d hoped. But I’m glad he didn’t because it was at a club, which is definitely not his style. He’s more into more relaxing venues like bars and such. God I love him. I would totally be a recluse with him if he let me be his girlfriend. I would honestly give up half my social life to be his girlfriend. Which would limit me to one party a weekend (seeing as I normally go to at least two parties a weekend).

    Like most girls, I don’t just want him in the carnal sense (I don’t just want to fuck him), I want him as my boyfriend, my significant other. Although I also want to fuck him.

    Anyway, wish me luck with this shy boy. I think I’ll need it.

    Peace

Are guys really that stupid?

    So I saw Apple yesterday after the Deadmau5 concert and I wasn’t expecting it at all. If you’ve ever been to a concert like that, then you know you get drunk off your ass (and/or high off some other drugs of choice), wear glow sticks and dance like a rabbit on speed. And usually, a lot of sweating is involved, which for girls, can be devastating. Imagine mascara that is smeared across your face, and all other make-up has already been sweat off.

    Thankfully I didn’t sweat that much and my mascara was easily repaired by a quick trip to the ladies room. But god, did I look horrible. As previously mentioned, all my cover up, foundation and blush had been sweated off.

    Okay, so I’ll stop complaining and tell you the whole story. First of all, my friends’ boyfriend is best friends with Apple. So her boyfriend (who I will call Vodka from now on) hung out with us before the concert, and my friend (who I’ll simply call C) was going to meet up with Vodka after the concert. I went along with her because I really didn’t have anything better to do. When we got to the bar they were at, Apple was there too!!

    I’m hoping that since guys don’t even really notice when girls put make-up on, or how much make-up they put on…. or really notice anything about how girls try to make themselves prettier, I’m hoping that he didn’t notice my greasy face (which I made less greasy with a little help from something I call Purell). As per usual, I ended up sitting beside Apple the whole night and talking. I pretended I didn’t have any money for a cab so I could walk home with him, but my plan backfired catastrophically. I walked with him and the other random guy up two streets, which is where we parted ways. Apparently, he had been planning to go to the random guys’ house the whole time. So I had to walk the half hour it took to get home at 3am when it’s about 4C outside. Not my best hour. This leads me to my next point.

Rant of the day: Are guys really that stupid?

    I mean, I sat beside Apple the whole night. I talked to him. I listened to his conversations with the other random guy, partly because I was in between them and partly because I wanted a reason to look at him from time to time. And I do this every time I see him. I sit beside him, so we kind of have a secluded corner, talk to him or listen and occasionally input my opinion in a conversation he’s having with someone else. Let me just show you the seating arrangement.

                           [Vodka] [C]

[Random guy] [     Table       ]

                           [Me] [Apple]

    Keep in mind that C and Vodka are nuzzling and making out in their corner, so it’s basically just me, Apple and random guy left. Random guy and Apple have a long conversation, which is way too smart of a conversation for me to really understand or participate in. So I just listen, giving my opinion when I feel I have a grasp of the situation enough to actually speak. Eventually, random guy goes off and gets high with some strangers, which leaves me and Apple. Finally. We end up having our own conversation that lasts until the rest of the night.

   Now, I’m not sure about you, but to me, that’s basically a date (minus the bar scene, random guy and my friends making out across from us). Even though I’m not openly macking on him, I’m trying to mack on him in a classy way. But then I think to myself, “He’s not experience (at all).” And so I have to cut him a bit of slack. But even if you had no experience whatsoever, and taking into account that he is not oblivious to the world around him, how can he not realize I like him? I’m with him the whole goddamn night, I talk to him, I give him the very obvious hint that I want him to walk me home (it’s on his way home, after all). But no. He goes to his friend’s house.

    Is he really that dumb? Or does his inexperience make him think “Huh. So a girl is talking with me all night, with me all night. Maybe she’s just being friendly.” Or does he cast doubt on himself? Like “Oh well she was acting like she had a crush on me but… maybe it’s just me”?

    I would be a hell of a lot more frustrated right now if I knew I wasn’t going to be seeing him for another week, but thank god, I’m seeing him tonight. Tonight is the night I will definitely tell him how I feel! Wish me luck.

Peace.

Deadmau5 (pronounced Deadmouse mofuckers)

    So tonight I’m going to see Deadmau5 and to be honest, I’m pretty excited. The last concert I went to was Justice, which was last September. So it’s literally been a year since the last time I went to a concert.

    Some of you may see this as sad, but concerts really aren’t my thing. I don’t know why, all of my friends go to concerts on a regular basis, but I prefer going out clubbing, going to house parties, or having small drunken gatherings at my house. But that’s just me. Two of my friends and I are going with some guys from uni, so if nothing else, that should make it fun.

Now for my rant of the day: Girls who play with their hair

    Now I don’t mind those girls who just kind of do it absent mindedly, mostly out of habit. In fact, that pretty much describes me, seeing as I have waist-length hair that tends to always be in the way.

   No, what I’m talking about are those girls who sit in front of you in class and play with their dirty, greasy, over dyed hair and attempt to untangle it. It’s absolutely disgusting. It makes that gross tearing noise, that honestly gives me a tingle up my spine. If you’re going to do that shit, do it in the privacy of your own home.

    I don’t understand how people can just do this random shit in public and not feel embarrassed. Why? Why would you do that when you’re in the front row and there are 30 people sitting behind you? Everyone can see you, everyone can hear that awful tearing noise. Some people really have no sense whatsoever of propriety.

    Anywho, I’m really nervous about tomorrow. This is where I degenerate into my Gossip Girl blogging, that most of you probably don’t care about, so ignore from here on if you’re one of those.

    Tomorrow, I’m going to be seeing the guy I like (I’ll call him Apple). I usually only see him about once or twice a week, because he goes to a different school than me. I’ve had a crush on him for about two months now and I’m really getting impatient. I know he’s extremely inexperienced with girls (he’s 19 and the last girlfriend he had was when he was 13 or 14). So I know I’m going to have to be the man in the relationship (i.e. I’m going to have to be the one to ask him out).

    When it comes to relationships, I’m very traditional. I think the guy should always ask the girl out, and I think the guy should at least always offer to pay for the date. It’s a show of how much I really do like him that I’m going to ask him out tomorrow night, because that’s something I would normally never, ever do.

    I’m preparing myself for rejection. I’ve been planning to tell him for the past three weeks, and in those three weeks I’ve also thought about what my chances are of rejection, and they’re not pretty. All I can hope for is that I will not break down and cry in front of him. If anything, I want to be stoical, or maybe even act normal around him. Maybe I’ll still be able to smile after he rejects me. Maybe. But that’s a very big maybe.

    On the other hand, there’s the fact that he hasn’t had a real girlfriend in 19 fucking years. Which might make him think “Oh, here’s a girl that is average looking and normal and wants to go out with me. This probably means I’ll be able to fuck her within the next month because she pretty much knows that’s expected of her.” I like him, and I also don’t think he’s that kind of guy but… isn’t that kind of guy in all guys? I mean, he’s a bit of a nerd (okay he’s a huge nerd… I’ll let you in on the details of this another time) and he’s not the type to have one night stands. In fact, he’s a bit of a recluse, meaning he doesn’t go out that much. Not because he’s not invited to stuff, but because he chooses not to go out. In fact, I tend to know things about his best friends weeks before he does.

    Now what I’m thinking is that since he’s shy, he probably hasn’t gotten up the nerve to tell the girls he has liked in the past that he liked them, evidence being that he hasn’t had a girlfriend since grade 8. And since he hasn’t had a girlfriend since grade 8 and again, he doesn’t go out that much, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s probably a virgin.

    If I tell him that I like him, I will (hopefully) appear to him has a girl that is average looking, who is relatively smart (although definitely not as smart as he is) and who can hold a conversation with him without looking at him with that bland expression that says “I have no idea what you’re talking about”. He might think, “Well, even though I don’t have any feelings for her, she’s better than the none existent sex I’ve been getting for the past 19 years of my life,” and decide to go out with me.

    Is that bad? Could I make him like me if that happened? Will it really help to just “be myself” or should I try the tactic of “wait on him hand and foot and do whatever the fuck he wants”?

I just know that I like him so much, I can’t let him go without letting him know. Even if I do get rejected. So wish me luck.

    Peace

Ed Hardy… a disease

     So a new epidemic has hit my college. Well, to be honest, I’m not sure how new it is, but the point is I’ve just started noticing it.

Today the issue is: Ed Hardy

    Yes, we’ve all been affected by this epidemic of bejeweled clothing with some fucked up tattoo styled drawing on it. What is Ed Hardy? Why are so many Italians deciding to wear it to complete their Bro outfits? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m extremely disturbed. I can’t help but ask myself every time I walk by a bro in Ed Hardy if their girlfriends realize what an embarrassment it truly is to go out with one of these poor misguided souls.

   V-necks were the beginning of the bro fashion that has now come to include the sweat pants or Diesel jeans (very different extremes of the spectrum, I know). To be honest, I was glad no one was yelling “FAGGOT!” at the first few guys that started wearing those American Apparel V-necks that were so shamelessly baring these poor boys’ scant chest hair that had yet to really grow in. But then something amazing happened. All the bros seemed to see these V-necks as the second coming of Jesus Himself. When I saw this come into style for all the bros I thought… Wow. Props. Seriously.

    But now, the bro style has gone even further.

    As my gay friend once said, “What straight guy wears something with so many colours and has glitter on it? It’s such a gay fashion that only straight guys wear. Like… even I wouldn’t wear that.”

    This is to all the bros out there wearing Ed Hardy. You heard it from the mouth of a gay man, the same mouth that will literally suck cock as soon as it is given the chance, so please… Just Stop. The V-necks were already pushing it.

    And to my Ed Hardy wearing bro friend sitting beside me in English class: I love you. You’re one of the few reasons I actually turn up for that class.

    Peace

To start off with…

   This is my first blog, so I’m going to try and not be like Gossip Girl and tell my life story, although I might, once in awhile, degenerate into that sort of blogging. Forgive me.

What I’m going to try and do is have a new subject to discuss every day, which I admit, will be extremely hard. I’ll try not and bore those of you who actually read this (i.e. no one).

Tonight… well it’s too late to do this tonight, so I’ll start my strict regiment of blogging tomorrow, which in actual fact, is today. 

   Peace