A Brief Character Outline

So here are all of my friends (that I may or may not have mentioned so far)

C
-She is going out with Vodka
-She has been one of my two best friends since grade 5 (age 10)
-She is pretty, although not beautiful
-Has a great personality when you first meet her and makes a wonderful first impression
-After several years of knowing her, you know her personality is not that great (although there are definitely parts of it that are amazing) but she has such a bad temper that it can really override any other feelings towards her
-She actually does have the worst temper I’ve ever seen
-She never says anything directly, but always makes little, picking comments, or just will get into such a bad mood that the only thing you can do is avoid her for a month or so
-She has a wonderful taste in music
-Very broad general knowledge
-Went to an all girls school and is now fucked up because of it
-When she likes a guy, she obsesses over him, never stops talking about him, and usually has at least 6 crushes at once. Will never stop talking about any of them
-You will loose count of all the different crushes she has
-Has the tendency to think a guy is the most amazing thing when she first meets him and goes on about how amazing he is, even if she doesn’t have any sort of crush on him. A few weeks later you will ask her about that same guy and she will go on at length about how much she hates him now.
-She tends to think mean guys who are mean to other people are really funny and “hilarious”
-She is the worst judge of character I have ever known. She thinks the nice guys are boring and the mean ones are funny. This is why after a month or so she realizes this, and decides to hate the guys.
-All of her other boyfriends have been these guys that are absolute jerks, but that she finds “hilarious”. I’m very surprised she’s actually dating a nice guy now
-Frustratingly hypocritical
-Also, very critical
-Has an extremely mean, passive aggressive mother, who is not nice to her whatsoever
-She learned how to be extremely passive aggressive from her mother
-Has the most uninviting home you will ever step into

Vodka
-boyfriend of C
-Is very attractive
-Plays Dungeons & Dragons (in fact that’s how C and I met Vodka and Apple)
-Is actually the kindest person I’ve ever met
-Extremely chivalrous (the epitome of a gentleman)
-Has a strange sense of humour and extremely amusing faces when amused
-Is a little quiet when sober, but when he’s drunk, he’s very talkative, funny and interesting
-Is a functioning alcoholic

Roman
-A guy I’ve known since I was 17, although he made a horrible first impression on me and I even banned him from entering my house, I’m now friends with him
-Is a very strange individual
-Is on the border of average and attractive
-Also plays Dungeons & Dragons. He’s the one that introduced C and I to Apple and Vodka
-Has a tendency to look like he’s hitting on me when he’s drunk, even though I know he’s not
-Is extremely worried about his weight, probably has manorexia
-Very strong views
-Is intensely interested in Dragon Ball Z and will have drunken conversations with Apple whenever possible about amazing scenes in the manga of DBZ
-When he likes a girl, he becomes obsessed with them, sometimes to the point of stalking (I’m actually not kidding) although he means no harm by it. He actually does think he’s in love like no other person could ever be.

Elf
-My other best friend who I’ve been best friends with since I was 9 months old
-She is really kind and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body
-Is so shy it’s actually crippling
-Is the one of the funniest people I know
-Extremely beautiful
-Is an alcoholic, and not a functioning one like Vodka. She gets so drunk she has huge black outs, goes home with guys she doesn’t know, finds scratches all over her body but can’t remember how she got them, sounds like a gay man when she’s drunk (just the intonation). And she does this every weekend
-Her parents divorce is what I think caused her alcoholism
-Her mother now acts like a teenager, always going off with her various boyfriends and leaving Elf alone for sometimes a whole week without even telling her
-Mother and brother were emotionally abusive to her
-Will never confront someone if she’s in a fight with someone, she will always run away (either literally or metaphorically)

Boxers
-This is the boyfriend of Elf
-very nice, totally in love with Elf
-Him and Elf always go out on dates and have fun together
-Is very rich
-Sounds like he’s gay, but (probably) isn’t
-Has a lot of girl friends but no guy friends
-He probably makes Elf feel loved unconditionally, which is good because she never got that from her parents
-Is also very funny, which is good because him and Elf can be funny together, and they do have a lot of inside jokes

Arrow
-This is my gay boyfriend. This means he is 100% gay, but we do everything else that a couple does together.
-Is nice, but way too needy. He always wants to hang out with me, and sometimes I get annoyed by his extreme gayness
-Gets jealous. Easily. Whether it be other gay guys I hang out with or straight guys. If I hang out with too many other guys, he starts getting a bit mean to me
-Gives the worst relationship advice. His solution to everything is “break up with him”

Apple
-The guy I’m crushing on
-Is not that attractive, but I like him anyway
-Plays Dungeons & Dragons (He’s the Dungeon Master, the nerdiest position in the game)
-He’s smarter than me
-He’s blunt to the point of hurting people without realizing it
-He enjoys R&B, rap, raggea and the blues
-Likes astrology
-Always wears oversized dress shirts (usually plaid) and jeans. I know, not that hot
-Is a complete nerd. But that’s okay, because even though I look like a normal girl, I’m also a nerd at heart.
-Likes Dragon Ball… a little too much
-Made his own cock ring once. He enjoyed it and wasn’t ashamed to admit that he made it himself and enjoyed it
-It was implied to me that he trimmed his pubes into a mushroom cut
-Has what one might call a mushroom cut (but not so much…)
-His eyes change colour from blue to green. Sometimes they’re grey blue
-He’s half german
-When he gets drunk I can’t really tell, even when I’m sober. He’s still able to talk completely coherently
-I think I may be in love with him. Which is bad, because I’ve had boyfriends for six months who I never even considered being in love with.

To be honest, I could go on for another 10 pages about all the characteristics of Apple, but I won’t bore you with that.